re: help with my private lessons, Willie or anybody!

[sendero]

Dear all,

I am an adult learner...the main question that I have is that every time that I have a private lesson, I panic! this starts few days before my lesson. It did happen with all my teachers..I asked my teacher and he mentioned that this happens frequently to adult learners but does not know how to help.

Is that true? Willie, do you have any ideas? When this happens, I seriously want to quit..but my pride does not allow this...

Please, help and thanks in advance!

[wmyette]

Hey Sendero,

Yes, this is a VERY common statement from students. It doesn't matter the teacher or the student.

As humans, we just get nervous when playing in front of others. I'm sure you have probably said to your teacher, or at least thought, "I can play this better at home."

I would hear that from all adult students at least once when studying with me.

As a teacher, I know about this and I always work with students to make them feel comfortable. I like telling students, "This isn't brain surgery. If you make a mistake, no one will die!" It helps to put them a bit at ease.

This is also another reason why many parents start their kids young at an instrument. Kids are very resilient and do not get as embarrassed as us adults.

To fix this, remember that your teacher is just a person like you. Sure, they have knowledge that you do not have, but you know what? You also have knowledge that they do not have. The teacher-student relationship is very personal. Let you teacher know what you are thinking. Feel free to ask about direction and why they are asking you to practice a certain way. Basically, interact with your teacher so you know more about where they are taking your piano playing. This is a bit off topic, but it does help you to feel more comfortable with them.

I'll leave you with a quick story. Many years ago I was doing a gig with a singer in a small club. There where maybe 5 tables and people sat very close to where we were performing. I was maybe 5 feet away from people and they were ALL WATCHING!

I remember the feeling of how it was a bit intimidating to play in such an intimate environment. Often, people think playing a big concert hall is more nerve racking, but in reality it is the small venues where you see everyone that can make you nervous.

Personally, I LOVE the feeling. I don't feel nervous in my day-to-day life. When I come across that nervous feeling, which I always get to at least some degree when playing a concert, I love it! I love that tingly feeling you get and almost a 'sick' feeling in the gut. I use this feeling to help me get into the music.

This feeling also reminds me how important music is to me. If I was not nervous or believed that my performance was just going to be fine without my even trying, then music would lose some allure for me. I like the challenge!

So, you can also look at your 'panic' as you called it as a confirmation that you love to play the piano, your commitment to learning and a challenge to overcome and rejoice in overcoming!

Hope that helps!

[sendero]

Hey Sendero,

Yes, this is a VERY common statement from students. It doesn't matter the teacher or the student.

As humans, we just get nervous when playing in front of others. I'm sure you have probably said to your teacher, or at least thought, "I can play this better at home."

I would hear that from all adult students at least once when studying with me.

As a teacher, I know about this and I always work with students to make them feel comfortable. I like telling students, "This isn't brain surgery. If you make a mistake, no one will die!" It helps to put them a bit at ease.

This is also another reason why many parents start their kids young at an instrument. Kids are very resilient and do not get as embarrassed as us adults.

To fix this, remember that your teacher is just a person like you. Sure, they have knowledge that you do not have, but you know what? You also have knowledge that they do not have. The teacher-student relationship is very personal. Let you teacher know what you are thinking. Feel free to ask about direction and why they are asking you to practice a certain way. Basically, interact with your teacher so you know more about where they are taking your piano playing. This is a bit off topic, but it does help you to feel more comfortable with them.

I'll leave you with a quick story. Many years ago I was doing a gig with a singer in a small club. There where maybe 5 tables and people sat very close to where we were performing. I was maybe 5 feet away from people and they were ALL WATCHING!

I remember the feeling of how it was a bit intimidating to play in such an intimate environment. Often, people think playing a big concert hall is more nerve racking, but in reality it is the small venues where you see everyone that can make you nervous.

Personally, I LOVE the feeling. I don't feel nervous in my day-to-day life. When I come across that nervous feeling, which I always get to at least some degree when playing a concert, I love it! I love that tingly feeling you get and almost a 'sick' feeling in the gut. I use this feeling to help me get into the music.

This feeling also reminds me how important music is to me. If I was not nervous or believed that my performance was just going to be fine without my even trying, then music would lose some allure for me. I like the challenge!

So, you can also look at your 'panic' as you called it as a confirmation that you love to play the piano, your commitment to learning and a challenge to overcome and rejoice in overcoming!

Hope that helps!
THANK YOU, WILLIE!

yes, I love piano very much...but I hate suffering..maybe when I hear "the product of my practice"-basically playing piano mediocre at best despite all the efforts-, it depresses me...

I googled and found some hypnotism techniques for playing piano..have you heard or anyone used this?

anyway, it is off-topic but I appreciate any help...from you or anybody else in the forum

[percival]

Beautiful reply, Willie, beautiful!!!
It's very inspiring.
I suggest you to save it and maybe use it in one of your articles.

Personally, I have a big difficult that is similar to Sendero's problem:
I can play relaxed only if I'm sure that all the persons that are present cannot evaluate how I'm playing. In other words, I don't have the courage to play in front of someone that can play or judge the way I'm playing. If I try, I stop after a few notes because the fingers remain stiff.
So, I like playing alone, or when only my wife and my daughters are listening, or in front of your videos (you can neither see me, nor hear me...).

Anyway, I love to learn playing piano.

Percival.

[place]

Great answer, Willie! This was helpful to me and I’m sure others as well.

Sendero:
Believe it or not, this is a fairly common problem even for professional musicians. I know many performers (musicians and actors) who take beta blockers to help relieve the anxiety. Personally, I would be cautious about using hypnotism, acupuncture, or medication and would certainly consult your physician before undertaking any of these treatments. I’m not saying don’t do it, just be cautious.

There are natural alternatives, however. Bananas, green tea (chamomile tea), and pomegranate juice are all natural beta blockers and can greatly help minimizing the stress of performing. I often judge or accompany my students at solo competitions where there can be a lot of pressure and fierce competition among contestants. It’s not unusual to see a trash can full of banana peels at these events! I know from personal experience that it does help. Breathing exercises are another great thing you can do without consulting a doctor. Many wind players do these anyway and they can help a lot in controlling blood pressure. For breathing exercises, sitting in an upright posture is important. Exhale the air, with the tip of your tongue touching the upper front teeth, until your lungs are empty. Inhale air, while counting five, mentally. Hold your breath, till five counts. Repeat this entire cycle, ten times.

Good luck!

[sendero]

Thanks...thanks...it is embarrassing but very important for me and many people!

I do meditation and it helps somewhat...

What about alexander technique for this?

[place]

What about alexander technique for this?

Perfect! I highly recommend it.

[thierryn]

Dear all,

Many thanks for these posts, as it will definitely help lots of people, and I'd say to all anxious people : "join the club !".

I remember when I studied my classical piano, when I had to perform a public examination (I do not know how it works in US, but here in Belgium, we had always to play a little concert as exams). I remember, I was simply terrified.
I remember taking some medicament (light an natural but anyway) to lose some stress, but I also remember : I never played a piece at once ! I always made a big mistake after some measures and had to start again. What I used then was humour. I remember, it helped me being more relaxed. But it stayed a very difficult exercise.

Even today, it's still difficult for me playing for other people.
As friends come and visit me, I always pray they will not see the piano and ask me to play something. I hate this. I know, this is strange, as music should be shared. But I know your feeling.
When playing alone, I feel I've the song under my fingers. I'm feeling good and relaxed. If I play the same song for other people looking at me, it's like my brain does not work anymore. I simply forgot the music. It is SO FRUSTRATING.

One little example is the videos I've posted on the site. It's like a little therapy ;-).
But believe me, by simply knowing I'm recording a video, I do not play as relax as I should anymore, and I have to re-start 20 times before getting some acceptable result.

There are some techniques like explained in previous answers.
One technique I've learned is to sit and put your feet on the ground. It's stupid if I write it so, but you have to feel your feet on the ground while doing some respiration exercises.

There is no miraculous solution for this problem I'm afraid.
I think the best way to manage it is to be confronted with it and learn to cope with it. Personally, as I get stressed by simply recording myself, I'll do it more and more.

Take care, and do not forget, have fun !!
Thierry

[spannfan]

I have the same problem. One thing I learned is that we are very forgiving of mistakes at home alone, but they are glaring in front of others. I changed my way of learning a piece to increase the chance of playing without so many mistakes in front of others....still, my hands shake!

Can you okay in front of someone before your lessons? A spouse, friend, relative? If not, line up some Teddy bears and pretend you are playing in front of someone....aime for as close to performance quality in each session.

That helps me.....along with medication;).

[percival]

Judging by the number of messages in a short time, it seems that many have the same problem...

[phailes]

And i thought it was just me.

ph